A Change of Heart

First written August 31, 2013
I've been thinking a lot lately about a change of heart.  I have always been fascinated with these words.   The scriptures are full of so tires of hearts that have been changed overnight.  For most of us a change of heart is a life long process but sometimes a person is blessed enough to experience a change of heart in a short period of time.  This has been a miracle that has happened to me.  Sometimes trusting in the Lord can be scary, but if we put him first, he will help us and be there for us and our hearts can change.   Repentance can change our hearts.

"It is not repentance per se that saves us.  I tis the blood of Jesus Christ that saves us."
"true repentance makes a brilliant day out of the darkest night."  But how do we repent?  The first thing we need to do in Trust in the Lord.  I have been reading a book called Falling to Heaven, such an amazing view of the Atonement of Christ.  It talks about how in order to lift our burdens we need to take another burden.   But it is a burden that is light, that makes us feel lighter.  Interesting concept.  When I do something wrong I often take to myself to fix it and make it better.  When instead I need to turn it over to Christ.  That is why he came.  To help that burden be light.  If we don't take the additional burden we won't change.  I made poor choices.  I wanted to repent, I wanted to confess, I wanted the burden to be lifted from my shoulders.  But in order to repent, confess, I felt that it would cause a burden I would not be able to carry.  People would be hurt, my reputation could be ruined, my family would be so disappointed and at risk.  This was a burden I did not feel I could bare.  The problem was, I didn't have enough faith in Jesus Christ.  Enough faith that confessing and full repentance would actually make it better.  I didn't trust him when he said "come unto me and I will make  your burdens light"  I thought I would be better off just handing things on my own, ignoring it, pretending it didn't happen which amounted in continuing to deceive the people I loved which in turn created a burden that I couldn't carry, and I couldn't have help to carry.  I was on my own.  Until I finally took a leap of faith and put it in the Lord's hands I could never be free.  I am so thankful for the path that led to take that leap of faith, because when I began the true process of full repentance the burden did become lighter.  I had someone to share it with and things got better.  The hardest part is sometimes believing the Lord when he says to trust him, not to trust in the arm of flesh but to trust him.  When we follow his plan, he can and he will help us.

"Repentance means a change of mind and heart, we stop doing things that are wrong, and start doing things that are right. It brings us a fresh attitude towards God and ourselves."
"If we stay true and faithful the memory of our sins will be softened."
"It is our responsibility to avoid anything that would bring back old sinful memories."
"When we continue to have a broken heart and contrite spirit we can know God will remember our sins no more."

Repentance is so much more than being sorry for what I have done.  Often times I am sorry because of the consequences that I have to face because of my choices.  Repentance involves true Godly sorrow.  Alma 36 is a wonderful example of this.  I love this chapter.  Alma is sharing his conversion with his son Helaman.  He tells of his repentance.  His feelings about his sins.  He says that he was racked with eternal torment and was tormented with the pains of hell for "I saw that I had rebelled against my God and I had not kept his holy commandments_the very thought of coming before into the presence of my God did rack my soul with inexpressible horror.  But while he was harrowed up by the memory of his sins he remembered the teachings of his father about Jesus Christ who was sent to atone for sins of the world and he cried, "O Jesus, thou Son of God have mercy on me, and when he thought this he could remember his pains no more.  And oh what joy and marvelous light did he behold.  Yea his soul was filled with joy as exceeding was his pain-Nothing so sweet and exquisite as was his joy and from that time he labored to bring that sweet feeling to others and he was supported under trials and troubles of every kind, yea and in all manner of affliction, and because of that he knew he would be raised up at the last day to dwell with him in glory and he said at the end "I will praise his name forever."  I have felt this way, and I know if I am faithful I can feel as Alma did and can be assured that I can live with him again.