The temple

I had the chance to go with Jackson and Emma to the temple a couple of weeks ago.  It was Emma's 12th birthday.  It was such a special experience to sit and watch them do Baptisms for the Dead.  As I sat I was filled with joy.  I was so happy that they had made it to this step in their lives.  I was so happy that as their mother I could be a part of it.  I'm so proud of them. 

It's been hard

It's been a hard year.  It started out as a fun year, but because of poor choices made by me it turned out to be a hard year.  It's still hard.  I've learned so much that I am thankful for, but again it has been so hard. 

The first thing I have learned is to stay close to the gospel.  The little things are everything.  I need to listen to the promptings I receive to go to the temple, to read my scriptures, to pray with my kids.  No matter how mundane life gets, do the small things everyday.  They are so important.

I have learned to protect my marriage and to give it everything I have.  I have learned that when it all comes down to it, family is all we have.  They are the only people who love us unconditionally.  Shawn thinks about me continuously and is such a good husband to me.  I could not be more blessed to have someone who loves me the way that he does.  I need to honor his love always.  I need to reciprocate his love.  I need to always put him first.

I have learned that the Atonement of Christ is real.  I have learned that Christ didn't only atone for my sins, but that through his Atonement I can be healed.  I can overcome pain, and hurt and that he is there waiting for me.  I have learned that he is my friend especially when I feel that there isn't anyone else I can count on.    I have gained a personal relationship with him.  I love him for what he has done for me. 

I have learned that my Heavenly Father loves me.  That he knows me and that he feels for me.  I have learned that he is merciful and that he is tender.  I know that he fights for my soul.  That he wants me to succeed and be the best person I can be.  I know that he provides tender mercies to me, to help keep me on the path, and to help me know that he is there. 

I've learned that we are all children of a loving Heavenly Father, and we need to treat each other that way.  I need to see people the way my Father in Heaven sees them, and care for them the way that he does.  We need to be tender with each other, and lift each other.  Life isn't about me being important, it is about helping others feel that they are important.

I've learned that pride and selfishness take us down paths we don't want to go down.  I need to be humble, I need to always look for ways I can improve and serve others.

I learned that I need to put every ounce of energy I have into my family and their well being.  I need to teach my kids the gospel, I need to show them that I love the gospel, I need to be an example to them of everything that is right and virtuous and good.

I learned that there are some things I can't change.  I have to be able to let go and move on.  I have to realize that not everyone will love me.  I have to realize and accept that I can't change that.  I have to realize that no matter how bad I think it hurts, it doesn't have to hurt.  I am in control of my own emotions and only I can change how I feel.

Sometimes things in life don't go the way we hope.  It's disappointing.  Sometimes it hurts so much we can hardly bear it.  Trust in the Lord to bring better things into your life.